40 Days of Self Care Summary

For lent this year we decided as a family not to give anything up and instead to take on some more self care, in hopes that it would build our awareness of what exactly self care is and the importance of it.

My main focus was having my self care as a priority. For years it wasn’t so and getting to a point where I could and would put myself first was tricky. I did believe it was selfish to put my needs before those nearest and dearest to me. My life experience had brought me to that conclusion and it took working with a counsellor to know better. The idea of caring for my own needs was an alien one, and one that I had felt should be the responsibility of someone else. I had thought that if I was caring for others then they should have been doing the same for me – How wrong I was! I cannot tell you how many times that led to disappointment on my behalf and to unsettlement in my personal realtionships.

Self care can be so many things, it’s as wide and varied as we are. Mine started with simple things like a foot soak, a long hot shower or maybe eating something of my own choosing rather than choosing what to make for others, for their enjoyment. A difficult one in my self care journey was asserting myself, I did find and still do find that while i’m recovering and becoming well there are those who don’t accept it – It’s unfortunate and says more about them than it does about me but regardless I didn’t let it hold me back. Choosing to say no to requests made on my personal time was certainly one that created a kickback but I didn’t let that stop me – and neither should you.

When I first began my own introduction to self care there were none more happier than my husband and children. Their encouragement was continious and still is and I am blessed to have it. They really did make it easier for me, they made it easier for me to say no when I needed too or wanted too. To feel that my time is my own is a mightly powerful thing, to feel that I am deciding what’s ok and what’s not – this is usually based on how I feel. On the bad days or during straining times I now say no a lot more. No because I know I can’t, not yes because I want them to like me, or find me invaluable or so they think I’m a good person – It’s no because I value my own mind and it’s wellness and the knock on effect it has on my physically body when I say yes when I shouldn’t.

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Our family self care journey has been interesting. There were small kind gestures to the self like fresh linen on the bed, taking a break when tired, eating a nutritious meal, eating a not so nutritious meal, going for a walk, reducing screen time, reading a book, drinking enough water, sitting in nature, meditating and more. It has encouraged us all to be more aware of caring for ourselves, putting our own needs first. Verbalising within the family unit when we are tired or not up to something. Me personally it has encouraged me to continue to do right by myself and to chase my dreams. Putting myself first began as a difficult concept a few years back, an alien and unatainable goal – now I’m at a point where it’s my priority and it’s guilt free. I don’t entertain the thoughts of how it will be perceived and I am happy to accept that if it’s right for me then that’s all that matters.

Love Dee